From the time my toe was amputated, all I could think about was when I could get my foot back into a shoe to hide it.
From the time my toe was amputated, all I could think about was when I could get my foot back into a shoe to hide it.
The home health nurses that came to change my bandages every other day scared the heck out of me. They kept telling me that I shouldn't even go to the bathroom without some sort of slippers. My foot was too big for slippers with all the bandages. I wanted to wear my Crocs, but they said I shouldn't because I could get a rock in there or something. The thing I couldn't get them to understand is that I still had all the feeling in my feet. That wasn't part of my problem.
But, I was scared. So I asked my mom to go to the store and get me a big pair of men's slippers a size too big made of soft material. I then took scissors and cut them a bit to make room for my bandaged foot. As the swelling went down in my foot, I repeated the process. It didn't look pretty, but it was functional.
The home health nurses also put the fear in me about wearing socks. They said a diabetic should never ever go without them. I became down right anal about socks. I thought I could only wear diabetic socks for the rest of my life.
I wanted to be in the special diabetic orthopedic shoes as soon as I could because I thought those would be the only shoes I could ever wear. Winter would be coming and I wanted what I thought would be best for my feet. The wound surgeon said he thought they would be what I needed. Second choice would be a soft leather lace up shoe. Insurance was going to pay for the diabetic orthopedic shoes, so I went with them.
It took from August to October for my foot to heal well enough to be fitted for the orthopedic shoes. I had to step on this pink foam to make an impression of my feet. Inserts would be made for the shoes that would make them customized for my missing toe. It was supposed to help my balance too.
There wasn't much of a selection when it came to choosing the actual diabetic orthopedic shoes. I had to pick them from a catalog. I wasn't exactly digging on that. I ended up thinking I could live with a white walking shoe. The technician measured my foot to get the perfect shoe size, but ordered them a 1/2 size smaller than what I normally wear. He said they ran big. I didn't question him. I trusted him to know what he was doing.
It should have been a red flag.
I couldn't wait for the shoes to arrive. I thought I would feel normal again. I was so disappointed when I went to be fitted after they were here.
For a $400 shoe, they looked so cheap. I had to swallow the lump in my throat. I'm 42. I like to look a little trendy for heaven's sake.
They didn't feel good on my feet. The technician told me to only wear them for two hours at a time and then check my feet. That made me feel like he expected me to have problems with them rubbing sores on my feet.
I had expected them to feel comfortable and to be worry free. They were not in the slightest. They felt too narrow.
That day I wore them for two hours. When I took them off there were red spots on my feet that were not yet blisters. I put them back in the box. I had a good cry. That's where they've stayed.
I discovered that Crocs makes an all terrain lace up shoe. So that's what I've been wearing. I also got a pair of their diabetic Crocs. I'm getting along fine. They feel the best on my feet. I can wear them all day without worry. I have stuck with wearing diabetic socks.
It came down to me deciding that they were my feet and I would wear what felt best.
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