Diabetes sucks. I think that's a given if you have it or love someone who does. It can break you and honestly it's had me broken over the past year. My a1c steadily climbed. I felt so out of control. I was frustrated, depressed and gaining weight. I somehow became a victim of my own making.
At one point I gave up completely and tried insulin. I thought maybe it would allow me some freedom from such a restrictive diet. I was fooled. I still had to take my Metformin and Glymidpiride with it. I had to keep increasing the insulin. I hated every minute of it. I really didn't see how it was helping me much. I was heavier and unhappier.
Then I found Onglyza and asked my doctor if I could try that. He said I could ... for a while.
Another Insulin Talk
My last a1c was 7.7 and my doctor gave me a shake down on straightening up or wer're having another insulin talk. If you read my last post, you know that it felt like a good cop, bad cop kind of visit. If his goal was to get me mad about diabetes, which I think it was, it worked. He's a good doctor and I know he has my best interest at heart.
I am just as stubborn about not going on insulin again as much as he is about putting me on it. I told him so. My magic a1c is to be down to 7.0 by June.
Can I do it?
I believe I will.
I'll be honest. I've let carbs creep back into my diet. It happened little by little. I told myself "a little won't hurt now and then". Well, a little became more and more often. I thought I was smart and could balance them out, but I wasn't.
Food has been a constant source of struggle for me my whole life. In a way I've let it control me. If it tasted good, I ate it. Combine that with a poor self body image and it's a recipe for diabetes down the road.
Very willfully lately I've been taking back control over food. I've gone fairly low carb again. My carbs are coming mainly from green leafy vegetables and Zone bars. Why Zone bars? Well, I've found that no matter what they tell you, that chocolate craving never really goes away for some of us. I can eat the dark chocolate flavors ot them without dire results. I don't get the shakes by the candybars at the checkout line. I don't cave to temptation. I know I have them at home.
It's not a fun diet, but it's better than shots in my book.
I hate it. Simply said. I don't mind a walk now and then, but to carve a time out of the day to workout is like pulling teeth for me. I KNOW I need to do it. I often have good intentions, but my mind drifts to this or that project I think I need to get done and before you know it the day is gone. I always say that tomorrow will be the day.
I need to stop making excuses.
I need to exercise.
End of story.
Taking Control Again
This is going to be quite an adventure. One thing is for sure. Cue the Rocky music...
Today I fell like a fighter.